Dear God, I know you’re up there. I know you can hear me. I know there is a lot going on in the world right now, with famine, terrorism, and world hunger, but I was wondering if I could trouble you for a few moments with a small request for phone chargers.
I believe that we are due to another upgrade in phone charging capabilities and I have some ideas. I was really excited a few years ago when wireless charging came out and I bought myself one of these really fancy wooden ones and I love it… but frankly I think we’re ready for something new.
What do you think of these ideas?
SOLAR PANELS – This one seems like a no-brainer. We have solar panels already, and we know how to put photo-voltaic cells into most materials, why haven’t we made phones able to be charged by sunlight? I’m sitting at a coffee shop, I set my phone down in a sunny part of the table, and boom, we got us a few percent.
MOTION BASED CHARGING – We’ve had watches that have been doing this for years, and nothing yet from any of the phone companies. Just put some sort of pendulum in the phone somewhere and as I’m walking and swinging my phone around the motion of that pendulum acts as a generator of power for my phone. I’ll shake my phone like crazy if it gets me 10%.
DIRECTIONAL OVER THE AIR CHARGING – I think it would be pretty cool if I could just be somewhere in my home, and I can point a charger at myself, wherever I’m sitting, and my phone would start charging. I don’t think this is that crazy. We’re already done plugging phone in, we’re already transmitting stuff over the air, there’s already tons of magnetic waves going around, let’s put all that together and get this invention out there.
THE MINUTE CHARGE – I think people are starting to figure out charging speeds and how to make the transfer of energy more efficient, but let’s get that down to a minute if we can. I mean, let’s make it safe, we don’t want another Samsung phone explosion situation, but like even a five minute full charge would be pretty epic.
Of course, I would ask for just unlimited batteries, but I think if we could create that it would solve all of the problems in the world forever, so I guess I’ll stay realistic here.
I don’t think I’m asking for that much, it’s just, having to worry about charging my devices really eats into the time I would be taking reading Buzzfeed polls and playing Candy Crush, so I’m just wondering if you could help me out.